I might end my life i am in soo much pain..No closure in this break Please help me!! please?

I just broke up with my girl and it ended bad. I never got to say goodbye and she changed her number! i have no contact.. This girl was great and we haad a magical relationship and it got sour the other day and she jus changed everything. This girl got me off of drugs by giving me all i needed and helping me thru the excrusiating withdrawals. She even would wear me out when i couldnt sleep! im back on drugs now and i know that she was the only thing that could do it because i thot we were meant to beand wud be forever. I didnt even get the chance to say goodbye and talk to her to get some closure.. I havent gone to work cus iv been so upset and i cant stop crying..Pls help me im either gonna die of pain drug addiction or suicide!! idk plssss help!! ilived with her and everything im 20 years old!!! i cant evewn say goodbye or get my stuff? this isnt fair!!!!